Why Do I Keep a Notebook
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Excerpt #
Joan Didion’s reasons + mine too
“Why do I keep a notebook at all?” #
Joan Didion’s reasons + mine too #
In her essay “On Keeping a Notebook,” Joan Didion waxes poetic on what the actual heck we’re doing when we write stuff down:
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Quickly, amazingly, she dismisses ‘the truth’ as the reason for keeping these notes:
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Perhaps, then, the motive for writing in our notebook is one of saving, hoarding even, in preparation for the rainy day — “that bankrupt morning” — when all of the memories will not only make sense, but make art:
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Didion writes things down so as not to forget.
Not to forget the memories, yes, but more so not to forget the version of herself who experienced those memories.
The stuff of her notes — cracked crab for lunch the day her father came home from Detroit in 1945, the 720 tons of soot that fell on every square mile of NYC (a note she marks as “FACT”), her recipe for sauerkraut — each is an incantation that transports her back to that time, that place, that Joan Didion who was there.
She was there, and here’s the proof.
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Who did I used to be? Who awaits me in the pages of my notebooks?
I’m writing this essay in an app called Bear, which I’ve recently picked back up again after not using it for a few years. In it are all my notes dating back to 2013.
These notes are less memories and more…ideas? Ideas for comedy sketches, lines of dialogue to put into movies, and even a superhero named Pooped Man - ‘guy who is super tired and brings down d’ (sic) (Jan 11, 2015 at 11:03pm).
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Then there’s Highdeas - ‘Ideas whilst stoned.’ (Jan 26 2014 7:57pm).
Not pictured - any actual ideas.
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And then there are the tragic bangers like Balding - ‘being short and balding is the ultimate curse. Everyone looks down on you’(Sept 7 2013 8:08PM)
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For better or worse, these notes are all certainly all revealing glimpses into the person I once was. But that’s not, I don’t think, the main reason I write things down.
My reason is existential. By writing the things that pop into my head down into my notebook, I teach my brain that those ideas - my ideas - are worthy of being written down at all.
Each note becomes another brick of the house I’m building, a monument to a simple yet elusive truth: that what I notice is worth noticing.
Because of course it is - we notice things because they are - literally - of note.
But somewhere along the way, I began to believe that the stuff I noticed was dumb and boring and worthless. There were real people out there noticing real things and I wasn’t one of them.
By pausing, opening an app or a notebook or pulling my sleeve up to write an idea on my arm (something I do a lot), and committing that idea to memory - that act itself breathes life into not just the idea but into my conception of self as an artist, a writer, a person who takes his own ideas seriously.
Writing things makes them real. The stuff of spiritual and psychological matter. The stuff that matters.
Otherwise my dumb brain believes that my ideas suck and aren’t worth jack diddly doo.
And honestly, most of them aren’t - but the act of believing that they are - of having faith that something may come from Pooped Man, itself a Highdea for sure, or the tragedy of being short and balding - that’s worth everything.
“It all comes back,” Didion says, and I agree. In fact, it’s all already here. Take note, literally take note. Notice. Say yes to the tickle in your brain that went ‘whoa.’
There’s a phrase in AA - “Keep coming back. It works if you work it, so work it, because you’re worth it.”
So too with our own ideas. Keep taking notes - they’re worth it, and so are you.
In the comments… #
Do you write your ideas down? What’s your process?
Do you revisit your old notes (this is something I am teeeerrrible at so I wanna hear how people do it lol)?
Are you also obsessed with learning about how amazing artists took notes? Who are some of your favorites? (two of my fav collections of notes are Jillian Hess’ Noted and Shaun Usher’s Letters of Note)
In other news #
How Sublime adds depth to Justin Reidy’s writing process
Writer and entrepreneur
(previously at Loom/Airbnb/Craft Ventures) recently shared how Sublime helps him during the writing process by “accessing my knowledge when I actually need it.”
Watch Justin’s two-minute explainer video here.
Sublimers out in the wild
We’ve been going deep into Alexi Gunner’s writing at idle gaze, a newsletter that explores the “the hidden undercurrents of culture.” Some favorites include in search of ungrammable spaces and dawn chorus/dusk chorus.
Tom White, who writes the fantastic newsletter White Noise just published Why Less Is More When Pitching Yourself, a genuinely helpful piece on, as he put it, ‘how to sell yourself in a world choked with noise and bereft of signal.
Kev wrote a great essay on Launching your startup while having very young kids.
Are you a Sublime member who’s doing cool stuff? Let us know - DM me here on Substack or email me at alex@sublime.app.
The links #
Subscribe to The Sublime #
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