Ex Leader at Amazon on How to Build a Successful Mentor Relationship
Ex Leader at Amazon on How to Build a Successful Mentor Relationship #
Excerpt #
Brandon Southern says that most mentorships aren’t set up for success. Instead, mentee need to do their homework and mentors need to invest in the relationship.
- Brandon Southern is the former head of analytics at eBay, Amazon, and GameStop.
- He writes that many want membership but most don’t get value from their mentor/mentee relationships.
- Southern advises mentees to do their homework to find success.
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I’ve had the opportunity to mentor several people during my 20-year career in tech as a senior leader at companies like Amazon and eBay.
I’ve learned there is a right way to build a mentor/mentee relationship. The alternative way leaves mentees frustrated in their lack of improvement and mentors feeling like they wasted their time.
But mentorship doesn’t have to be this way.
In my last team survey at Amazon, approximately 80% of my team expressed a desire to have a mentor, and half of the team members had received mentorship in the past. But what stuck out to me is that when I asked about the progress and benefits that team members received from past mentorship, I found that most didn’t get a lot of value.
That’s because most mentorships weren’t set up for success, and mentees didn’t do the necessary homework to make it worth it.
When the right planning and effort are applied, mentorship can fast-track your development and career. But to achieve success, you’ll want to follow these 8 steps.
1.Define where you want to be #
This is the most critical step. To start your mentorship off right, come prepared with specific, time-based goals for what you’d like to accomplish.
Many mentees come into a mentorship without a specific goal, possibly stating they want to get a promotion, raise, or better title. Other times the mentee doesn’t really know what they want to gain from the mentorship. They just want to talk with someone higher up on the corporate ladder.
Both of these things are not specific or setting the mentee up for success. Without knowing why you want a promotion, what the promotion duties look like, and when you want to achieve a promotion, your mentor won’t be able to give the specific feedback you need.
You may receive random tidbits of advice, but it probably won’t be aligned with your goals, which will likely leave you feeling frustrated with the lack of progress.
2. Identify where you stand #
You must seek candid feedback about your skills, abilities, and knowledge and define your position. Some details may be obvious, such as your current title and years of experience. But other details may not be as obvious. For example, you may see yourself as an expert communicator, but your peers and employee review may paint a different picture.
This is where self-awareness and open-mindedness are key. Without proper feedback, you may overlook critical gaps in your skillset that you need to work on with your mentor. Unfortunately, many people become defensive when receiving critical feedback, which blocks their ability to accept the advice and guidance of a mentor.
3. Find a mentor who is aligned with your next goal #
With clear goals and general knowledge of what you’d like to improve, you can find a mentor that is aligned with your needs.
For example, if you’re looking to get promoted in a technical role, you may select a leader at your company who can influence the promotion process. But if the prerequisite for a promotion is strong technical skills that you’re lacking today, this leader may or may not be the best mentor. The reverse is also true.
If you select a mentor that is at your current pay grade or far removed from your team, this mentor may be able to help you increase your technical skills, but they may lack the ability to influence the promotion process.
While it’s possible to find a mentor that can help you in both areas, you may find yourself needing multiple mentors as you progress on your journey. The key is to prioritize your goals and growth opportunities. You want to avoid taking on too many tasks or trying to work with too many mentors at the same time.
4. Make sure your mentor is invested, too #
When you choose a mentor, it’s important to choose one that is vested in you. I’ve seen many coworkers offer their time for mentorships, but many of them aren’t truly invested in the relationship.
A good mentor will understand your goals and constantly be focused on helping you accomplish your goals on your timeline. They’ll come to the meeting prepared by reviewing what you discussed in your last meeting and what your action items were. Also, they’ll review your progress since this last meeting to help you address new problems and ensure that you’ve been making progress.
But a more common mentor relationship or a bad mentorship usually feels like a basic conversation. The mentee shows up to the meeting without an agenda and since there were no action items at the end of the previous meeting, there’s no progress to discuss. Instead, the mentor answers a few random questions or talks about whatever is top of mind for the mentor. Rarely is this aligned with the goals of the mentee, and it’s certainly not a focused approach to helping the mentee accomplish their goals, on their timeline.
5. Find the opportunities #
After you and your mentor have discussed your goals and the items that you need to improve, it’s time to find the right opportunities that will allow you to improve. For example, if you need to gain experience with public speaking, the only way that you’re going to get the experience is to get out there and speak in public.
The task sounds easy, but finding the right people who will give you the opportunity can take a bit of planning. This is where your mentor can offer ideas and point you in the right direction to find the opportunities you’ll need to get involved with if you want to improve.
6. Come prepared #
It’s extremely important that you come prepared. I’ve seen a lot of mentorships where the mentee doesn’t have action items from the end of the previous meeting. This usually means they won’t have made meaningful progress, and they won’t have those details, as well as challenges to share with their mentor.
To have a successful mentorship, you have to come prepared with an agenda based on what you intended to accomplish since the last meeting, the progress that you made, and any challenges or learnings that you collected along the way. Without this information, your mentor won’t be able to provide feedback, and you’ll likely find yourself repeating the same content as your last conversation or your conversation won’t be focused on your goals.
This causes many mentorships to fizzle out because the meetings feel like they don’t have a purpose.
7. Do the work #
To grow, you’re going to have to do some work. But before you start a mentorship, you must be prepared to invest your time. Many people come into a mentorship thinking that they’ll receive a few quick tips and guidance from their mentor, and suddenly results will appear. Unfortunately, that’s not the way that progress is made.
Like learning to play a sport or musical instrument, you will have to practice what you’ve learned. During your meeting with your mentor, you may receive tips and guidance on what to focus on, but it will be up to you to find the opportunities to practice and then put that practice into action.
Without this practice, not only will you not make progress, but you’ll end up re-hashing the same conversation from the previous meeting. This will be a waste of time for you and your mentor and quickly result in a frustrating and unsuccessful mentorship.
8. Assess and adjust #
Last, you’ll need to assess your progress and adjust along the way. For example, if your goal was to get promoted in 18 months, you would likely have identified the core skills and the scope of work that would be required. But on your journey, you may have progressed a bit slower than anticipated or you received additional feedback in your last review that requires additional growth before you can get promoted. You’ll need to take these things into consideration and adjust your timeline and focus areas accordingly.
Brandon Southern is the former head of analytics at eBay, Amazon, and GameStop. This content is solely the opinions of Brandon Southern and may not reflect the opinion of any organization that he has been affiliated with. Southern does not speak on behalf of the organizations that he has worked with.